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How I Would Have Used Lois in Persuasion


This is something thats been cooking in my brain, and I posted it in a reply to tariel22  in my initial review for this episode, but I thought it would be interesting to get some feedback on this.

CAUTION, SPOILERS for PERSUASION



As I said in my initial review, I don't think the 2 sides of this episode melded very well together, and I didn't like the whole "Donna Reed on crack" thing they wrote for Lois.  In fact I suggested that this ep might've been a good one for ED to miss (if she is, indeed, still going to miss 2 more eps this season).

But, since Lois was in the episode, this is what I would've done with her instead.  Tell me what you think, or add some of your own suggestions.

Frankly, rewriting SV eps in my head can be lots of fun.  I think I'm better then the SV writers, of course ;) LOL

 
Here's what I would've done with Lois:

-Keep the first scene, with the investigating, in tact. Ditto the anti V-Day conversation.

-At the DP, Lois never gets mind-whammied. Instead, she continues her investigation at the DP, Clark leaves.

-Somewhere in the ep, we get another scene of Lois trying to get into the RAO construction site, perhaps even throw in another Lois/Zod scene.

-We do get the Lois/Chloe confrontation, but its not over moving in together. Instead, its Chloe, in over protective mode,  saying Lois isn't right for Clark, she's going to distract him, etc. Instead of sitting on the floor, crying, Lois is more like "WTF is your problem?"  Chloe leaves, Lois is confused.

-We do get the Clois scene at the end, in the farmhouse, where we hear Clark tell Lois that Chloe was effected by meteor rock, and Lois says Chloe explained and apologized. Lois does confess that Chloe's words did stir up some insecurities, and she wonders if she's going to screw this relationship up. She acknowledges that she's going to try to embrace V-Day type of days, because they're important to Clark. Clark assures her that he likes her just as she is, and its going to be hard to get rid of him. They kiss, for real, no one being mind whammied.

And THATS how I would've used Lois in this episode. She probably would've had less screentime, but the ep would've shown her as 1. an investigative journalist, 2. realizing how a little compromise with Clark over silly things like V-Day are OK, 3. A nice, honest last scene without any cringeworthy  honesty dialogue, no concerned looks over hugging, and no kissing while mind whammied.

So, what do you think?

Comments

( 20 comments — Leave a comment )
carolandtom
Feb. 24th, 2010 06:31 pm (UTC)
I agree. That would have been a much better use of Lois.
jeannev
Feb. 24th, 2010 11:22 pm (UTC)
Thanks Carol.

You know, I have my favorite (Clark!), but I'm really all about every single character being written well. I don't understand why thats so damned hard for these writers.
(Deleted comment)
jeannev
Feb. 24th, 2010 11:25 pm (UTC)
Well, we could hardly so worse sometimes, right?

I'm still trying to figure out how Lois is now OK with Chloe given what we saw in this episode. Because what did she think was wrong with Chloe? Instead, we get "Oh, she's so sweet, she said she was sorry!". Thats ridiculous.

I just think at this point, the best way to serve Lois' character is not to dress her up in more costumes, or mind whammy her, or have her act goofy. I'd much rather see Journalist Lois!, who does her own thing apart from Clark, as well as being his girlfriend.

For a Lois/Zod scene, I would've had Lois trying to sneak onto the RAO construction site, and have Zod be the one that catches her. Lois would try to ask him some questions, Zod would deflect.
christina_kat
Feb. 24th, 2010 09:21 pm (UTC)
Ooooh, I would totally prefer that. Maybe you could give the sv writers some ideas. :)
jeannev
Feb. 24th, 2010 11:26 pm (UTC)
Well, I'm available if they are interested.

I can promise one thing...I won't try and make any character look bad.
(Anonymous)
Feb. 25th, 2010 12:33 am (UTC)
Part I
Britas15, present!

I like your idea. And as you very well know, I could go the rest of my life without seeing Lois in a costume (unless it was as foreplay) or mind-fucked, and it'd still be too soon.

As I've mentioned elsewhere, it's getting to be more and more of a problem that the person who'll be most proximate to Clark into his continued adulthood and eventually as Superman, is the only lead on this show without a significant arc (as in, season-long) that's not romance-related. It's beyond me why it's more important for us to see Chloe's Brainiac issues, or Oliver's pity parties, than it is to see Lois Lane do something other than play dress-up and moon over Clark.

"Persuasion" was a perfect opportunity for us to see Lois doing something Lois-centric, and still ending up with Clark in the end, since despite the PTB's occasional brain farts, this is still Clark's show.

I really like your idea of Lois and Clark disagreeing about Valentine's Day, and then parting ways for most of the remainder of the episode.
(Anonymous)
Feb. 25th, 2010 12:46 am (UTC)
Part II
And call me crazy, but wouldn't it have been interesting if it was in fact Zod who kind of changed Lois's mind about Valentine's Day. Imagine Lois going back to the site that same night, and Zod being the one to stumble upon her in the midst of her investigation. Lois, knowing that Zod is the C.E.O., tries to talk Zod up about his towers and the around-the-clock construction. Zod then gives Lois a non-answer and changes the subject to Clark. Zod asks why Lois isn't spending the day with him, and Lois repeats her sentiments about Valentine's Day being commercialized. To this, Zod takes a pregnant pause, and then kind of opens up to Lois, telling her that where he's from (England, in Lois's mind), they didn't really have an equivalent to Valentine's Day. But, he would like to have shared a day with his wife and his son that was about celebrating loved ones, because even if the day is commercialized, that doesn't diminish the feelings that a person has for someone, and the desire to simply be with them. Lois could them commiserate with Zod about the loss of his wife and child, and then back off of bugging him about the expose, and leave.

With Zod's words in mind, Lois would hand in her article and then head to the farmhouse to find Clark and to apologize to him for having been dismissive. Clark wouldn't be there, but Lois would still run into Chloe. Chloe would still be a world-class asshole, and Lois would actually fight back a little this time. Chloe would, at some point, point out to Lois that she's such a scared little girl, that she couldn't even bring herself to spend Valentine's Day with Clark. There'd be some truth in that, but Lois would push back, all the same. And she and Chloe would part ways.

The next time we see Lois, she's meeting Clark at the farmhouse the next day. Lois is annoyed with Chloe, but Clark explains that Chloe was exposed to some kind of weird meteor rock. Lois then calms down and tells Clark that she'll smooth things over with Chloe later.

Lois then tells Clark that after having run into Zod, she kind of changed her mind about Valentine's Day. Clark's wary of Lois having run into Zod, but Lois explains that she was still doing her expose, and she actually got to talking with Zod, and Zod told her some stuff about his family. Clark then realizes that Zod didn't intend to run into Lois and that Zod also didn't do Lois any harm. In fact, he got through to her. Lois goes on to tell Clark that Zod having lost his family and not having a real home hit the mark for her, because she never really felt like she had a home until she met the Kents, and having talked to Zod kind of brought up her insecurities about that, and made her face the real reasons why she was avoiding Valentine's Day. But she's over it now.

Lois then tells Clark that she wanted to meet him because she wants to apologize for giving him a hard time about Valentine's Day, seeing as he only wanted to spend time with her, and be a romantic. Which isn't her style, but she's willing to work with him. She then tells him that she has a surprise for him, and to close his eyes. He does as told, covering his eyes, and she disappears for a second, then comes back and tells him to open. Clark removes his hands, and sees that Lois is holding some obnoxiously over-sized Valentine's Day bear and a dozen red roses. She tells Clark that she got them for him, but, if he wants, he can give them to her. Clark flashes that amazing smile of his, and asks which of the two she'd prefer. Lois says that she prefers the bear, because it kind of reminds her of Clark, and Clark's already given her roses before. Clark thanks Lois for the flowers. Lois thanks Clark for the bear. Then Lois steps closer to Clark and kisses him. Then she wishes him a Happy Belated Valentine's Day. End scene.

Wow. I got kind of carried away. Oh, well! What do you think?
jeannev
Feb. 25th, 2010 01:35 am (UTC)
Re: Part II
I think thats great! In fact, thats just the spirit I was going for. I kind of like the idea that Zod might be the one to get Lois to reconsider V-Day. Its got a twisted irony to it.

I just like the idea that Lois would be off, doing her journalism, and wouldn't be the goofy costume character. I do appreciate the levity that Lois brings to SV, but I want to see the other side to her as much. More, at this point.

I like the idea of her not being part of the mind whammy this time. Any insecurities admitted to by Lois would be ones she freely admits to.

I'm glad you liked the idea. I know you, like me, had a lot of trouble with how Lois was used in this ep.
(Anonymous)
Feb. 25th, 2010 02:30 am (UTC)
Re: Part II
Britas15, again! Because I just like talking your ear off.

Is the measure of a character's value how much we love when they're around, or how much we miss them when they're gone?

Because, you know, I miss Lois when she's not in an episode. I really do. Even though I really question why she's in some of her episodes. But Oliver? I mean, I like him when he's there, but I never really even notice when he's gone. And the same kind of goes for Chloe. Why is she even in some of these episodes?

Whatever...

My point is that it really disappoints me that Lois Lane, a character who has such relevance to the protagonist, is the one that gets the most neglect from the writing staff. Whereas, the writers love to concoct little emotional meltdowns for Oliver. I just don't get it. And as much as I didn't mind Chloe in this episode, being that she's still in character, I didn't like her scene with Lois because there's no way for me to really know if she meant anything that she said, or if she was just trying to strike the right cords with Lois. Is Chloe a little anti-"Clois," or isn't she? If most of her actions are going to be chalked up to a take-back, then why did she even need to be infected in the first place? Just so she could say mean things to another infected character?

Switching gears a bit: I've been wanting to get this off my chest...

Chloe's last scene with Clark really bugged me. It came out of nowhere -- her sentiment about protecting Clark from himself. I wouldn't mind the line if it was coming from a delusional character who'd already been proven to be in the wrong. But Chloe's actions have mostly only been labeled "questionable" so far. Her actions haven't really been disavowed or condemned by the writers. Maybe this one writer just happens to be in love with Chloe. Because the last time Chloe's "protect a hero from himself" schtick came up, it was in "Idol," which was written by the same person who wrote "Persuasion." But either way, did Chloe "saving" Clark really need to be chalked up "the mission," and his hero status? Have Chloe and Clark really gotten THAT far away from their friendship. Because, for me, friends don't let friends kill, especially when they know that their friends don't believe in killing.

Just for once, it would have been nice to see a glimmer of Chloe's fundamental love for Clark peek out. Because even though the friendship is strained, there's still a lot of love there. So when Clark asked why she stopped him, she should have said something that echoed Clark's sentiments to Zod, about killing not being Clark's kind of justice. That, at least, would have shown that Clark and Chloe's falling out has nothing to do with a lack of love for each other; rather, it's a matter of differing ideologies and methods.

You know, this begs the question though: If Chloe wasn't "persuaded," would she have let Clark kill Tess? Because I don't think Chloe's necessarily opposed to the idea of Tess biting the dust, if you know what I mean. So, maybe the only reason persuaded-Chloe stopped Clark is because she was supposed to do what's best for him, not what's best for her.

Just spit-ballin', here.
jeannev
Feb. 25th, 2010 02:37 pm (UTC)
Re: Part II
Can I just say again how much I think you'd enjoy a lj of your own? OK, that was my public service announcement, out of the way. LOL

Is the measure of a character's value how much we love when they're around, or how much we miss them when they're gone?

I think its a bit of both. I'd say a character was really loved when you love them on screen AND miss them when they're gone. If they don't achieve both, I'd say the character was making less of an impression on you.

Chloe is in every episode because thats what AM's contract is for. Its as simple as that. I've always been an advocate for Clark to be the only character that appears in every episode. The supporting characters would then have varying amounts of eps based on storyline and importance.

I actually don't necessarily think that Lois is getting neglected by the writers this season (past seasons? Yes!), as much as I think the writers focus when it comes to Lois is too fixated on Clois. And I'd say the same in regards to Clark. Both Lois and Clark needs more definition in their storylines OUTSIDE of each other.

With Lois, they seem to want to concentrate on her insecurities and vulnerabilities in her relationship with Clark, and how she's a better partner for him than past relationships. But that sort of robs her of some of her individual character development.

To be honest, I just don't think these writers have much of an interest in the journalist side of anyone. They didn't with Chloe once she got to the DP. They most certainly don't with Clark. And there isn't a ton of interest in it with Lois either.

Almost all of the Chlark scenes this season rub me the wrong way. In general, when these 2 share a scene, I don't even recognize their characters. And I don't know what I'm supposed to be taking from their scenes. And it would be OK if they radically changed their relationship if we got some explanation of what was going on on screen. Is Clark mad about last year? Is Chloe? Is Clark disgusted with her methods? Does Chloe think Clark is weak and misguided? Its all sort of alluded to, but never fleshed out, which just makes their scenes unpleasant and unsatisfying.

At this point, with what we know of Chloe, I'd have to conclude that she stopped Clark from killing Tess because she was "watching his back", and she knew that this wasn't something he could live with. But now, would she have shot Tess in the face had Clark not intervened? Possibly.
tasabian
Feb. 25th, 2010 03:16 am (UTC)
I like your version very much - truer to the characters and more plot cohesion!

Here's my attempt:

In the teaser, Lois does her anti V-day riff; fairy approaches with Krypto-dust. Afterwards, Lois gets paged by the editor. He wants her to get back to work on the Towers story. She apologizes to Clark for bailing and Clark, ever sweet, says "No, I want you to get your story."

Blammo. Lois is suddenly in reporter hyper-drive, pursuing the story behind the Towers, regardless of her safety, charging after Tess, following the Kandorian trail (almost) to Zod.

Clark spends more time on the Kandorian plot. He drops by to visit a worried Chloe and Emil and gently says: "I want you two to relax." So in the next scene, we get Chloe and Emil hanging out & giggling. Clark realizes he has a new involuntary power and suddenly clicks that this is why Lois isn't answering his texts - she's obsessed with getting her story.

Clark speeds to rescue Lois from hostile Kandorians and has his encounter with Zod. He elicits the name of Jor-El's killer from Zod (Alia, not Tess) but rather than confronting Alia, he makes the decision to get rid of the power instead, saying something like "I want to be free of the effects of this krytonite."

Chloe, Lois and Emil return to normal; only Clark knows what happened. And in the final scene, instead of burning the towers, Clark speeds through them, placing cameras and bugs in every space.
tariel22
Feb. 25th, 2010 11:50 am (UTC)
Oh, you're good! I love your version, too!
jeannev
Feb. 25th, 2010 02:39 pm (UTC)
Wow, you changed the whole episode! I like it.

During the upcoming hiatus, I was thinking of introducing a post titled "Lets Tweak The Episodes". I figured we'd have some fun writing out the little changes we would've made to the eps to make it more enjoyable for us.

What do you think? Could be fun.
chatchien
Feb. 26th, 2010 01:39 am (UTC)
During the upcoming hiatus, I was thinking of introducing a post titled "Lets Tweak The Episodes". I figured we'd have some fun writing out the little changes we would've made to the eps to make it more enjoyable for us.

Yesssss! Let'sssssss!

I'm In.
tariel22
Feb. 25th, 2010 11:48 am (UTC)
I think that would have been much better! I would have loved to see Lois in reporter mode, and I so agree that she needs an explanation for Chloe's behavior. Your Clois scene at the farm sounds like one I would have enjoyed. I think you fixed everything! :)
jeannev
Feb. 25th, 2010 02:52 pm (UTC)
One of the big glaring things that was missing from the last Clois scene was Clark saying something to the effect of "I don't want you to change", or "I like you for who you are". And I felt that was an omission, because that was sort of the point of Lois' storyline in a lot of ways. Her transforming, based on an off-handed comment from Clark, to something she thought he wanted. And yet, that last scene didn't really convey that for me. It was so odd, because as we talked about, it felt like it came from a past season.
svfan01
Feb. 27th, 2010 06:12 am (UTC)
I personally had no issue with the Lois storyline in Persuassion, I think the problem was is they combined 2 plots that don't fit together. If there were going to have a fun light hearted episode they should have went all out making it fun and light hearted(say like Spirit)
jeannev
Feb. 27th, 2010 04:37 pm (UTC)
Well, thats true, so thats why I would've changed Lois' plot to fit her into this episode better.

But honestly, I'm tired of Lois dressing up, or acting goofy. I'm ready for some serious reporter Lois now.
brijeana
Feb. 28th, 2010 06:41 am (UTC)
Sounds good to me... that would make "Persuasion" a more serious episode... and it wouldn't address some of Clark's wishful thinking about his realtionship with Lois. But I guess... he could open up about how he feels about her in the context of Chloe's words triggering Lois' insecurities. Even in this more serious episode I'd want Clark to communicate about his feelings for Lois also.
jeannev
Feb. 28th, 2010 03:35 pm (UTC)
I think Persuasion needed to be a more serious episode. The shift in tone was just too extreme, and didn't really seem to work. And I do believe there were better ways to address some of the issues in the Clois relationship without having Lois mind whammied. For me, it takes something away when one character isn't quite themselves.
( 20 comments — Leave a comment )

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